margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
