I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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