Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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