yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
