so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
