I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
