So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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