zippers are such a cool invention
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
