yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
