i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
