He asked to "fluff my boner.."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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