She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
