Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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