We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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