we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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