For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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