don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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