Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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