Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
