I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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