Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
