hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
