Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I bet he comes in French.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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