Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
