why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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