i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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