I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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