it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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