and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
