dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize