i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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