I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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