i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
