How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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