is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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