Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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