I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
