She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
