I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
