were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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