do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
