...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
