What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
