The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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