Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
