I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
