I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
