We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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