Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
