girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
