So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I AM VODKA MAN
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
