I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
