You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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