Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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