He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
FUCK WHALES
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