How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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