I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She said her name was "party"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Randomize
