shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
