is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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