tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
