Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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