I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
