I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I faked an abortion last night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
