think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my liver is dry heaving
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize