Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
