Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
