So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
