Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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