is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
