party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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