It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize