maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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