how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
