Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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