i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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